Sometimes we engage in a relationship because of fear of loneliness and find out that the wrong person is by our side. Based on their experience with clients, psychologists comment on 5 types of men who aren’t meant for a long-term relationship.
Beware of these men
Hero with a broken heart
A person who has recently broken up is still suffering. He will try to heal his wounds with your help, and if you become too close with him, you risk becoming merely a shoulder to cry on. Most likely, he has low self-esteem so that you’ll have to raise it. Not only a romantic relationship but also life circumstances they can’t cope with may break such men’s hearts. In every new relationship, he keeps avoiding solving these problems.
In this case, you should pay attention to the way a man reacts to a previous break-up or life situation. If he admits his guilt and tries to understand what has happened, he has a chance to change, and it’s possible to engage in a lasting relationship with him. If he accuses circumstances or other people of his problems, most likely, he will treat another woman irresponsibly and not seriously as well.
Skillful compliment teller
Undoubtedly, it’s very pleasant when a man can pay compliments. But keep alert if he sounds too sweet and nice. Very often, it proves that a man is impatient to move to a more intimate phase. Sometimes, such an actor lacks self-confidence. He isn’t ready for a relationship and uses you to master his communicative skills.
However, you should always consider the environment a person has grown up in. In southern countries, abundant compliment paying is just a norm of a courteous play so that nobody treats it as something serious. Yet, if compliments don’t look like improvisation, a man is really likely to be hiding behind clichéd phrases and it’s difficult for him to be himself. If this is the case, it isn’t that easy to get to know his true self.
As opposed to a man with a broken heart who is ready to write a new story with every new woman he meets, this hero never lets himself emotional intimacy and warmth. Should you once ask him why he has failed to engage in a relationship, he will answer he hasn’t met a soulmate yet. Don’t believe him.
In others’ presence, he often avoids displaying intimacy and tries not to show that you are together. In this respect, he is being pretty honest – he isn’t going to get closer to you. Let him alone solve the problems of his past and find the reasons that make him avoid human feelings.
In terms of psychology, we are talking about the fear of intimacy, a painful state when a person is avoiding an intimate, trusting relationship. A woman has virtually no chances to create a lasting union with such a man provided that she doesn’t prefer keeping distant in a relationship as well.
Everyone’s life consists of ups and downs. Yet, there are people who like accumulating problems and accusing others of them. If at the very first date, he tells you that he’s disagreed with his ex-wife on the children or property questions, there are always conflicts with his colleagues or boss, beware of engaging in a relationship with a “tragedy king.”
If a man keeps complaining, and his problems are the same at every new workplace or with every new woman, the future doesn’t seem bright with him. Try to estimate not the number of problems, but his ability to cope with them. If a man takes decisive actions to resolve his problems and his actions don’t contradict your values, such a relationship may have a chance.
Men of this category aren’t able to make an independent decision and start acting. Quite often, they can’t find a job and may fulfill their potential only if a woman starts taking constant care of them. There are men who can’t separate from their mother; correspondingly, they consider any woman ready to take control over them as a mother. Are you ready to adopt a son?
Thus, you should honestly assess your possibilities and preferences. There are women preferring a matriarchal relationship since they cannot get along with dominant men. If you are ready to be a leader in a family, this type will be suitable for you provided that he has already separated from his mother.
Is everything that bad?
Undoubtedly, it may be difficult to engage in a relationship with these types of people if their psychological peculiarities are obvious. However, we shouldn’t make hasty conclusions and mix up these signs with intimacy stages any love relationship goes through.
If adult people are looking for a new relationship, it means that a previous one wasn’t successful. That’s why we’ll have to welcome a “hero with a broken heart.” After a recent failure, he won’t feel confident and, for this reason, he will try to pay you elaborate compliments. Surely, at the beginning of a relationship, he will keep distance avoiding intimacy and sincerity. Should we manage to make him talk, we will see that he is a “tragedy king.” It’s absolutely normal because everyone has a lot of traumas. An ability to talk about them is an indicator of trust. If a partner starts trusting you, relaxes, and pours their soul to you, there may appear a feeling that they are looking for a mommy!
So, all these traits may be combined in one person. Trust yourself and be ready to go through these stages together. This is the only way you can assess your partner’s maturity level.